


2017; the end as we know it

by super_phan_natural



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, End of the World, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, dan knows, lol I just spoiled the ending, somewhere only we know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_phan_natural/pseuds/super_phan_natural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil revisit their favourite places for the last time, and try to say everything on their mind as the time starts creeping on them.<br/>Song// Somewhere only we know -Lilly Allen cover</p>
            </blockquote>





	2017; the end as we know it

My face to the sky, I knew it’s today. My body studders. I knew about it for a while now, but it seemed like just a feeling. But now, like a person telling me to pack my bags, I felt it in my bones. I prepared for this. I closed the window quietly and take my time with everything. I’ve lived with Phil for almost 10 years now, so I’m pretty used to his loose clothing around the flat. I scrunched them into a pile into the hamper, but I suppose it didn’t matter if it was in the hamper or not. I wanted to make the flat look peaceful and tidy. 

 

I cleaned everything I could. I started off with the shelves, some dust building up on them. I took the figurines and photos off. Carefully, I took the photo in a wooden frame sitting patiently there for me to look at. I saw this photo a lot, but as Phil and I travelled a lot, I never got to properly study it. I wanted to look at it properly now. I looked at the faces peering back, the memories of being with the most important people to me. Louise, Cat, PJ, Chris. Even Zoe and Alfie were in the back, posing for a snap. Phil was sat beside me, and we all surrounded a table of cake. It was his birthday that we celebrated, and even though it seemed like just another birthday, I suppose it was important to me. That kind of random memory that sticks in your mind. I smile as I wipe away the dust, and set it down to wipe the shelf. 

 

I took out the hoover to clean the small carpet, and after about an hour, the living room and hallway was cleaned. I looked at the clock. 7:16. I normally don’t get up this early, but I suppose the feeling that today was the day woke me up. I felt at peace. I wasn’t angry anymore, that feeling passed. I faced that fact that it was going to happen this year, and now it’s just a matter of time. I did everything I could. I made my mark, and I was happy. 

 

I went into the kitchen, and did my usual breakfast routine. I grabbed my favourite cereal, and poured out the contents. With cool milk poured in, I tread into the living room and turn on the TV. A small buzz of talking happened, and I knew that I wasn’t going to pay attention. I looked at the news anchors, and saw their struggle to make of what the weather patterns are. They seemed rather calm, and I was happy. Looking at everyone’s day go by as if it’s any other day. I knew they wouldn’t believe me if I told them, so why bother give them the panic? It won’t do any good. So I just stared at them, studied what they did. My face seemed to give a frown, and I knew I had to be strong today.

 

Today was the day.

 

“My goodness, why are you making all that noise? I was trying-” Phil says as he yawns. He stops his sentence as he sees my face. His face seemed a bit shocked, but calmed down a bit.

 

“Oh. Is… is it today?”

 

“I think so” I answered. I wasn’t quite sure if he would completely believe me, but he gave a reassuring smile and trotted over to my unfinished cereal.

 

“What do you wanna do, then?”

 

“I… I want to go to a few places I think you would enjoy. Here” I hand him directions. He took them and read it.

 

“Kings cross?”

 

“Yes”

 

“And… Hyde park?”

 

“Mhmm”

 

“And…”

 

“Manchester train station” I answered for him. His eyes seemed glazed, almost with grief.

 

“Oh”

 

“I just thought, that would be a good idea. It’s the first place we saw each other in person, so…”

 

“It’s perfect, Dan” He smiled. I saw tears forming in his eyes, but he blinked to hide them. 

 

“Thank you, Phil” I smiled. I hugged him, patting his back. I didn’t want him too sad today. 

 

After a comfortable silence for about half an hour of scrolling through tumblr and twitter one last time, we decided to lock the flat and leave for good. Phil was quiet, and I knew that it wasn’t going to change. It was a bit of different atmosphere now, but I knew I wanted to be with Phil right now. I took one last look of the flat, and see how calm it is. The lights were off and sunlight didn’t shine through the window like it normally did. It was still. Calm. I breathed in one last scent of cinnamon and a hint of the 3 day flowers on the table, and lock the door behind us. I slipped the key into my pocket and catch up to Phil waiting for me on the stairs. We decided to go on a bus, and we rode for 15 minutes until we hit King’s Cross.

 

“Remember 2014?” I asked Phil as we strode along the street. His hands were in his pockets and little puffs of air can be seen in the cold spring air. It was cloudy, to no surprise, but that didn’t diminish his smile.

 

“Of course. We filmed our Christmas vlog here”

 

“And over there you spilled mulled wine all over your jacket” I laughed.

 

“Thanks for laughing at my clumsiness” He giggled, pushing me with his side lightly. 

 

“Ah. That was a fun vlog. I felt better when we filmed it”

 

“It was calming and felt natural” He agreed. As we walked by, his face lit up as we passed a Starbucks.

 

“Come on, just a small drink” He pleaded.

 

“Sure” I agreed. We walked in, the little bell jingling as we closed the door. Phil and I ordered our drinks, and we wait by the window for our drinks to arrive.

 

“Remember when we bought the jogging suits here, but we never used them?” He mentioned.

 

“Yeah, that was a fail”

 

“We should have done more exercise though”

 

“I suppose. But we did many more awesome things in place of jogging” I suggested.

 

“I guess that’s true”

 

We sipped our drinks in silence as we sat by the window. My hands traced the wood markings, and Phil hummed while looking around solemnly. None of us were on our phones. Just us, sitting together and enjoying our coffee. I exhaled as rain pattered on the window, leaving its trail as it ran down the window. I touched the cool glass and my fingers felt the cold it brought back. It didn’t seem real. But, it was as real as can be. I looked back at Phil, and saw that we were both ready to leave. We said our silent goodbyes to our favourite starbucks and walked to the next location. 

 

“What next?”

 

“Manchester train station” He answered. Some softness returned to his face, and I knew that he started to accept it. He seemed to be much more calm about it, and now there is no more arguing, just being in each other's presence. 

 

“What do you think will happen next? After all, you were the one with the information in the first place” Phil asked diligently. 

 

“I… don’t know. I suppose, everything will be gone?” I answered, not quite sure if that is a good answer. His lips were scrunched together in thought, and his walk was starting to harmonize with mine.

 

“That sounds quite scary” he concluded. I nod in agreement, also in fear of what’s to happen next. 

 

We arrive at the platform, my eyes scanned the numbers to see which one it was. We bought tickets to Manchester, and thought to perhaps do some fun adventuring. As we got on to our train, we settled in a compartment in the back. The rain started to subside, but the rain clouds still hovered over, threatening to burst. The grey clouds were covering the whole sky, yet I for once wasn’t bothered.

 

I glanced over at Phil, sitting opposite of me. I studied his posture, the way his legs cross inwards as he read a book. His motion sickness is going away, which means more quiet rides. I didn’t want to sit in silence though. I wanted to tell him everything I ever thought. Today is important, and I wanted to tell him. My eyes glanced at his, the blue eyes scanning the words peacefully. His brows knitted together as he reads his engrossing novel. He was relaxed, and just his presence was warming. I always trusted Phil, as he was the one person whom I felt I could tell everything. His legs then propped up against the armrest, his back the window. The light left shadows on his face, yet he seemed to be glowing. He looked up at me above his glasses, a smile played on his lips as his shoulders jumped with a chuckle. We normally were used to stares, he knew I sometimes stared into space without realizing that I was staring directly at someone. I normally concluded with a “Sorry, zoned out there”, but that’s not what happened. I was willingly looking at him. I wanted to look at him forever. I smiled back, my hands instinctively searched for my phone to avoid awkwardness. But I suppose it wasn’t awkward, we were way past that stage.

 

I call some people as the 1 hour train ride continued. I called Louise first, always happy to hear her excited voice. She explained her day with Darcy and how well she’s doing at school, and a little part of me felt sad that I never had a kid. A real life kid to raise on my own. But quickly I remembered how much Phil and I helped around the world. The fans that normally watch our videos are everywhere, and reading their stories is always inspiring to continue when times were tough. I caught up with what Louise was saying, and conversed with her about something I saw on the news. 

 

“Listen, Dan, Darcy wants me to drop her off at a friend’s house. I’ll call you later, Ok? Stay safe” She chirped. 

 

“Bye Louise. And thank you” I finished the call. 

 

After calling all my close friends, I called my parents. Mom picked up, her bright voice happy to hear me.

 

“Daniel! How are you?” She asked. Her smile can be heard through the receiver, and it made me calm. I talked about my day, letting her in on the projects I started. She listened patiently, a stray “Oh, really?” to encourage my stories. Asking how her and Dad’s day has been, she explained her week and how a new soap has been doing wonders on her dry hands. She later put Dad on, his raspy voice being heard. I mentioned the same things I told Mom, and he was happy to hear about how things are going along. It pained me though, that I couldn’t say what today was.

 

After a long conversation about family and how important it is, I got them both on the phone.

 

“Mom, Dad, I’m happy that you’re always there for me. Thanks for everything, really” I thanked them.

 

“Of course, Daniel. You’re our son! We love you lots. Kisses!” Mom cheerily exclaimed. After a tough goodbye, and a few tears forming in my eyes, I hang up. Phil looked up at me with a consoling smile.

 

“It’s tough, I know. We have to say goodbye, though” He explained. I nodded, wiping a stray tear. He moved over to my side, his shoulder touching mine as he took his book with him. A reassuring pat on my shoulder, he tried to distract me with a story he remembered about high school.

 

“Thanks, I needed a bit of reassurance” I said after his storytime session. 

 

“You don’t need to thank me, Dan” He said. The bell rang through the train, and we got off to the familiar platform.

 

“And here is where we met” He sighed. I look back at him. About 12 years ago, I saw him fresh faced and happy. Now, he stood there with a dull look, his eyes seemed glazed and dark circles washed over under his eyes. He lived through so much, but with me. 

 

“And here is where our lives changed” I conclude. After looking around for a bit, we decided to visit some shops that we liked shopping at.

 

Phil looks around the fancy tourist shops, and I decide to go to a small flower shop on the corner. The merchandise they have for flower lovers is incredible, and it’s shocking to see such intricate detailing  on a 4 centimeter ceramic flower keychain. It was only 2 pounds, so I decide to buy it. It hung on a short chain and a ring, and was surprisingly heavy given the size. I pay for it and slip it into my pocket, its jingle ringing as I walk out of the store and catch up with Phil.

 

Phil was at a pastry shop, with a box in hand and handing the lady some money. He walks out and smiles when he sees me, pointing at the box with a nod. I smile back, seeing his enthusiasm in a simple pastry. But he opened the box, and I saw the desert that we got on the first day we moved in together in Manchester. I still remembered the taste, as it was one of the best cookies that I have ever eaten. I always bugged Phil to buy more, but we never got around to it.

 

“Better late than never” He chuckles. 

 

“Yeah, a bit late” I retort. He bites into it, his face crinkling in delight as he tastes it. I can only imagine my face had the same reaction, as he laughed at me when I bit into the cookie. 

 

“You can fight me” I grumble. 

 

“It’s just, your determination” He composes himself. 

 

“It’s too good to savor”

 

“That’s too true”

 

We walk to the Manchester wheel, or at least what’s left of it. Piccadilly gardens was a buzz, and people were returning from work to go to their comfortable homes. The empty attraction stood there, rusting and turning into dust, only to be left as a memory in our minds. 

 

“Remember when we used to go here?” Phil commented. I nod, remembering that it was moved quite a lot due to the Olympics and construction difficulties. There was that silence I dreaded, and I knew it was going to be like this when the day came. 

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t told you earlier. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you at all” I apologize.

 

“Dan, I’m your best friend. You had to tell me, or else you’d go mad! Come on, don’t be like that. You have a gift of knowing, and I’m glad that you shared it with me. I told everyone my goodbyes, and you did too. All we have to do is wait” He consoled me. “Right, so now promise me you will be with me until it’s time”

 

“I promise”

 

“Great, let’s do this”

 

Neither of us wanted to say the word, but it was coming. And there was nothing we could do about it.

 

We walk to one of the hills in the gardens, and see the population of the garden depart. Everyone was spending time with their family, while I was spending time with my family. The family of two.

 

**_Time 18:16; piccadilly gardens fountain monument_ **

 

I wasn’t scared anymore, because I felt like the time was right. Phil and I decided to sit on the curb of the tall monument that I never bothered to read. It seemed to have this platform made of cement, and many people sat there. But today, only a few people could be seen. The pigeons weren't there anymore, most of them flew away. They knew what was going to happen, and honestly I knew they were scared too. 

 

“Do you think other people know?”

 

“I think some people do. People just don’t speak up about it because they don’t want to seem crazy. But yeah, I think they do” I respond. A minute passes.

 

“Dan?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you” He uttered ever so quietly. I looked at his panicked eyes.

 

“What a coincidence” I mutter back in a hush voice. It doesn’t make sense why we just now said it, or why we’re talking so quietly, but it all seems to fit.

 

“I thought you might shy away”

 

“Ha, Phil, that’s not so” I say. I was speaking differently, maybe because everything is happening all at once. It didn’t seem like the ‘everyday me’ but it was me alright. “I love you too, and it’s a shame I couldn’t have told you sooner”.

 

“At least we’ve confessed” His voice barely a whisper. I looked at his face and saw tears trickle down for the first time. He always tried to stay strong, but he knew that wasn’t the case today. I pull him into a side hug, and his head rested on my shoulder. I kissed his head, and felt a tear drop from my eye. 

 

“I love you”

 

“I love you” 

 

And with those two sentences, the sun shying away from the clouds disappeared, the ground shaking as the world started breaking. Some people started running, but there was no place to run to. 

 

The world was ending, but I was with Phil. Those last words were the last things I heard as I held Phil tight and closed my eyes tightly. I was with him, and that’s what mattered.

  
_ Goodbye, Phil. _


End file.
